Walking with the Saints
Our Lady of Fatima a role model for strong parents

By MaryBeth Eberhard

I am a mother who seeks to parent with grace. It has always been important to me that my children know me to be a loving, trustworthy and faith-filled advocate for them. In striving to create these relationships, there have been times when I have felt challenged in speaking truth to them because, as our children grow, the situations they encounter cannot be sugarcoated, and the consequences for their actions must be met head-on.

We all need mentors in our vocations – those who have gone before us and teach us to speak boldly, pray fiercely and live a life worthy of being called a Christian. My journey as a mother has been greatly impacted by Our Lady of Fatima.

I love Our Lady. I love learning about her apparitions and the history of that time. I love that everything she says has meaning and purpose outside of time. Whom she chooses to speak to, her clothing, her voice and her message all have such purpose as she seeks to relate to her children and draw them into a relationship.

Over time, Mary has appeared in a multitude of places including Lourdes, Guadalupe, Knock and Kibeho. At each apparition, she shared a side of herself that reveals to us how to be better parents.

At Fatima, Mary spoke to three young children: Jacinta, Francisco and Lucia. The story is long and beautiful, but the simple version is that it was children to whom she spoke her message. They would have to show immense courage and tenacity in sharing that message.
She had such faith in them! She taught them to pray. She taught them the importance of giving of themselves for others: “Pray, pray very much, and make sacrifices for sinners; for many souls go to hell, because there are none to sacrifice themselves and pray for them.”

Our Lady of Fatima shows motherly patience in answering their questions when the children asked if this person would go to heaven or if that person would be healed. I reflect on the times I get frustrated with the same questions being asked of me over and over again.

Here, Mary demonstrates patience but also the lesson she wants me to learn – a ministry of presence, a sacredness of listening to their concerns and holding them important. 

I desire to raise saints – children who see the value of another soul and are willing to sacrifice for him or her. I also want my children to know that trust is built over time, and my listening to them affirms their worth and encourages them to do likewise. This world of ours needs a generation of people who see outside of themselves. 

Mary of Fatima is fierce. She is a mother who does not back down. It always shocks me that she shows the three children a vision of hell. Not just, “Oh look, there is the comedic devil with horns on his head,” but a horrifying vision of hell where they see the burning souls, feel the heat of the flames and hear the screams of agony coming from the vision. What kind of mother does this? I’ve often wondered. 

The answer is granted to me through life experiences. It is the mother who stands firm with her children. The mother who is not afraid to set boundaries, communicate expectations and clearly speak the repercussions of actions that go against what she has taught. Mary of Fatima stands as a role model and offers encouragement to the parent whose backbone gets a bit weary. 

Mary of Fatima also leads with mercy. She implores for prayers for mercy for those who are suffering or stuck in sin. She does not let others sit idly in their sin. She asks the children, “Are you willing to offer yourselves to God and bear all the sufferings He wills to send you, as an act of reparation for the sins by which He is offended, and of supplication for the conversion of sinners?”

As parents, we often see our children stuck struggling with a particular sin, and it is our responsibility to speak truth to them and hold them accountable. When Lucia, the oldest, shares petitions with Our Lady, she firmly but lovingly replies that “it the responsibility of those who request favors from God to beg forgiveness for their sins and be converted.”

I love speaking Our Lady’s exact words to my children. I am often heard saying, “Do not ask favors of God without your willingness to ask forgiveness for the sins you have committed against Him and allow yourself to be changed by His mercy.” 

Mary’s words need to be spoken out loud. Our children are hungry for advocates. They are created to seek the Father’s love, and Mary of Fatima not only shows us a way to be that motherly advocate but also implores us to do so to save souls and guide our children to heaven.

Our Lady of Fatima’s feast day is May 13.